6/23/2026~

By April T Joines

Yum 😋 not …..exactly .

Who needs a state bird ? Chickadee Crow Crunch from Kelloggs ? Anyone come and get it 5 AM special on the front lawn at BirdshitVilla at 5-6 PM or the Buttcrack of Dawn at 6 AM . 

Rise & Shine Buttercup here comes the Crows ..🐦‍⬛ get the bowls maybe you can pick the sparrows off the ground first before the they come and you’ll have some chickadee munch crunch in no time just make sure you have a cowboy Bessie to milk then you’ll be good to go .

You can always ask her son if they have any more girls on the farm they can get some breastmilk from? 

Um, no ! 

How about a hell no ! 

How about a give me and my cross bow a firm hell no to that .

How about almond milk , rice milk , help milk, almond milk , cashew milk, yes coconut milk even , yes sounds good ! Yes

Maybe Kelloggs Morning Glories I was thinking about making a new kind of cereal for sale at the grocery store calledChickadee Crow Crunch instead of putting chocolate on it. Maybe they could just put the Grim Reaper. And then we can invite everybody and they can look at the satanic lanterns

Black cloak for your crow bird crunch when it gets dark and then tell everybody they have to poop outside. We’re not getting on that they can just wipe their butt with their black cloak, cause I’m not buying them satanic bastards in any toilet paper. Not on my watch ? Okay , 🤪🤨

OK, so the other day I went outside and there was like so many birds crows this past winter crows have been coming in the mornings and they’ve been getting the morning chickadee because that is the Stafford and this quaking was so loud and I tried to peacefully and kindly explained to one of my neighbors you know, do you hear how loud this crows are because I could barely even have a conversation with her I had laryngitis so I was trying to say to her good morning do you like Kellogg cereal, neighbor because if you want, I can go get a bowl and we can just collect all the dead birds off the front lawn that I’ve been being attacked by the larger Apex predators because they keep being attracted to this thing called a birdfeeder that is displacing the other bird species. I’m not a big fan of those things. It’s at face level. I lived in my village for about four or five years and then three years ago. This neighbor came and they put a birdfeeder where I asked him not to it’s actually this lady named Jane hi Jane my name is April. I think you could put a birdfeeder in front of apartment number 15. The lady that used to live there before told me that she had one and Dad thinks happened like bird flew into the windows !! then they got a couple of decals to go in the window like this lady gave me some, but the birds are still been flying into my windows and shitting on my lily flowers. I tripped over a chipmunk because if you put a birdfeeder along a residential sidewalk, then attracts chipmunks in the seats follow the ground so the lady didn’t understand that I was trying to tell her logistically like if you walk on her sidewalk, the purpose of walking on a sidewalk is to get from one place to the next, so if you’re walking on a straight line, then you should be able to walk straight without tripping over her chipmunks walking in front of you but if you place a birdfeeder that has sunflower seeds, etc., falling from them then wooden creatures are gonna come up and try to eat those. We have a rule at our property management and it’s called. No feeding the animals. So birds or animals and they’re being fed in large numbers actually two times a week if a birdfeeder is fed 4.5 times a week or I’m sorry it’s about eight times a month two times that the birdfeeders are refilled so that equals so eight times a month the birdfeeders a refill but because they’re 10 of them on our property then that’s about 80 refills per month times 12 times a year that’s about 960 full containers of birdseed per year in our village, if they’re refilled by the residence, which are usually year-round in the past three years so there’s been an accumulation of bird multiplying birds have been multiplying and then the crows have been multiplying because they’ve been getting a steady fell of a morning chickadee bird now I’m not encouraging people to actually eat a chickadee because I’m a vegetarian so I actually really would encourage people to eat a bowl of frosted mini wheats because that’s one of my favorite cereals even though I am gluten sensitive, but I do like those and I like sugar, honey snacks or golden crispy but I also like granola and I like peanut butter, panda puff by natures path and puffin so yes, I’m a fan of grains and I think that people should have them ! Yum 😋

But I’m not a fan of our birdfeeders that are plastic containers filled with seeds being refilled 960 times a year because you know how much bird Dookie that is on your front line so let’s just fast forward five years from now it’ll be like this:



If you women at this village that I live in think that I’m trying to be your enemy are trying to make you feel stupid. Nope you guys pretty much do a pretty good job of looking stupid on your own so don’t blame me honestly I’ve been trying to tell you folks that you’ve got way too many birdfeeders out there. I think I saw two of them being reduced, but whose idea is it to get the huge freaking Apex predator decoy bird what kind of a joke was that I look at the window at 10:30 in the morning and I’m like oh what is Ruth Fillmore doing? Oh these are cute little geese but why is there a big huge large Apex predator bird? It’s like they’ve been trying to attract the morning dove that have been attacking the actual state for the chickadee and then the crows are getting them. They’ve been multiplying and not kidding. I tried to talk to the lady outside and it was so loud that the crows were squawking so loud that it took like 10 minutes 15 minutes for them to calm down and they flew over the house like they were getting angry that people were outside like I don’t wanna be attacked by birds and it’s not funny so I don’t know if I can insert an audio recording of all of the birds, but it was like crazy so when you have something like that, and it’s in a residential village, it’s something I wouldn’t be comfortable having children around and it’s like the women didn’t know that here that tried to make our village sometimes nice what they really should do is put Sheperd hook up take the plastic birdfeeder off if they’re really gonna be good people and stop this nonsense and just hang a flower pot up because if they hang up flowers that’ll help healthy pollinators, and then the crows won’t multiply the chickadees will not die and then there will be less germs from birds … I’m just gonna share a separate blog about what all of those are zoonoses . A lot of of them are airborne, but then dogs can get them so you’re welcome for trying to tell you people that if you care about your dogs, then you will take the plastic birdfeeders off of the sidewalk. They don’t belong in our sidewalks you need to adhere to the rules that say do not feed any animals at this village. Do you have a dog then you can give it a treat but there’s too many people thinking that this village is a bird sanctuary. It’s not we are residential community of people that have disabilities and people that are 62+ older and if you care about your grandmother and you don’t want her getting:

Salmonella : :,cryptococcosis West Nile virus , histoplasmosis or H5N1 , conjunctivitis, Respiratory Disease from airborne illness then you should have no Birdfeeders on our walkways . Our village needs to be safer for adults children and grandchildren their pets .

Want some dead bird crow crunch or chickadee crunch ? Yeah , me neither ….

April Joines